Love Wins

So as I woke up on Friday morning, I could hardly believe what I was reading. Britain had decided to leave the EU. I was feeling angry, betrayed, and let down by a government which I didn't vote for, and a result I didn't want. I cried and cried all the way to work, and then spent my morning dealing with young people who were heartbroken because they were scared of what will happen next, worried they would be deported, and simply devastated that the UK might not help people who need it from other countries. 

Without wanting to turn this into a strongly political blog (although those who know me will be well aware of my string viewpoints!), I simply could not believe that we as a country had allowed this to happen - scaremongering tactics being used which have made children feel unsafe. As a professional who works with young people, I am devastated by the effect that the political discourse has had on our young people. It is simply not right for them to feel scared in their own country for fear of deportation. The United Nations convention on the rights of the child states such that children have a right to be protected from discrimination, a right to their identity, and a right to have their views taken seriously if a decision affects them (as a side point, at what age should a young person therefore vote?). 

I travelled to London on Saturday, and as I walked past Westminster I was deeply saddened, wondering if they knew the hurt that some of our young people are feeling. What saddens me more is that I can offer no words of comfort to them about their futures, about whether they will need visas or citizenship, because I simply do not know the answers, and I don't think anyone does. 

However, later in the day I was privileged to be able to be a part of the parade at Pride. I can honestly say my faith in humanity was somewhat restored by this event - yes there were protesters however a small minority in a sea of people. Yesterday, London came together to show unity, equality, and respect. For me, Pride is about showing the world what a great diverse nation we are, and that we respect and support each other's differences. I stood alongside friends who I knew had personally battled with their sexuality or gender, for fear of repercussion. It should not be the case that anyone fears being themself for any reason. I am extremely proud of my friends who have the courage to be themselves in a world that can be brutal. 

In a world where Brexit has divided the country, and a small marginalised group of people have hijacked the leave campaign and had the dominant discourse around "kicking people out of the country" - let's remember that the majority of people in the UK are tolerant, supportive, and decent humans. Let's not let those narrow minded people cause our future generation to feel scared and unsafe - let's remind the young people that we work with that one of the greatest human emotions is love, and let's teach that to those we come into contact with. Yes some people are unhappy with the outcome of the referendum, I sure enough am gutted. However, what's important is that we do not let this ruin our communities, it is our duty to ensure that young people feel safe no matter what their beliefs, culture, or sexuality. It's important that we teach them that Love Wins, and in doing so we create a positive culture for the future, with more accepting and diverse communities than ever before. 

Happy care giver attachments day....

Today as I scroll down my Facebook feed, I'm inundated with photos of my friends and their fathers, or their children and their daddies. It's a lovely sight, although it tinges me with sadness and jealousy - I lost my Dad when I was 11, but in those 11 years he was pretty much the perfect ideal of a Dad and exactly what I would want my hypothetical children to have for their hypothetical father (note - I'm not having children). 

My Dad was kind, funny, silly, gentle. He was a proper "manly man" with a love for fixing things, motorbikes, cars, cooking up a BBQ, and carrying me high on his shoulders. I was most certainly a "Daddy's little princess" and spoilt with his time, love, and happiness. 

It pains me to realise that my Dad has missed, and indeed will miss, important milestones in my life: passing my driving test, grilling over my boyfriends, graduation (x2!), birthdays, marriage, first dog...

It actually breaks my heart when I think of the wedding day that I have always dreamed of (which girl hasn't!) and know that it would be one of the most difficult and hurt filled days because my Dad will never be there to walk me down the aisle. 

Missing out on my Dad in my teenage and young adult years was tough, and whilst no one can replace him or fill that hole in my heart, there have been some amazing people in my life who have made me feel loved and special, and who have celebrated those milestones with me. These are my attachment figures whom I am dedicating Father's Day to each year. 

When we are born, we build attachments with the key care givers in our lives - usually Mum is the main attachment figure that a child has. This is related to the child recognising and learning that this figure will provide comfort for them - there was an experiment with monkeys in the 1950s where the monkeys attached themselves to fake mothers (machines) that provided food for them. There are numerous experiments that show different types of attachment that children have, some positive, some ambivalent, some poor. The underlying key to a positive attachment is that the person provides care and that the child learns that and can be soothed by that person. Attachment behaviours are where a person attains or maintains proximity to another identified individual, whom they perceive as being better able to cope with the world and therefore becomes their secure base.

There are many theories related to attachment and social bonds; attachment can be considered as an affectional bond, which is not synonymous with a relationship as relationships are seen as more transitory and bonds are characteristic of a person and linked to their internal organisation. There is an argument that professionals can be seen as attachment figures, and Ainsworth describes these as emerging attachments - they may become consolidated however in a professional context, the relationship may be of short duration so the young person may not fully attach - although if someone spends significant amount of time in a care giving context with a child they may become their main attachment figure - for the bond is formed through care giving. 

With this in mind, I am very fortunate to have a number of care givers in my life who have helped me through very difficult times and have been there celebrating the highs with me along the way. Some of these people come and go in life, but there are a few who remain as constant people, who you spend a large amount of time with or a small amount of time - it doesn't matter all that matters is that they care. One example in my mind is someone who I have known for nearly 6 years, who treats me with kindness and thoughtfulness - spending time with me when I need it, offering careers advice, sending reminders and congratulations when I do something well,  the kind of person who just cares about me and makes me feel loved, valued, and unique. These are the ones you should hold on to. 

It massively sucks not having my actual Dad here every Father's Day, but I am so truly blessed to have so many other people watching out for me and looking over me. People wonder why I do the work I do, particularly after very difficult days, and why I get so stressed and worried about my young people - well it's because I care. Some young people unfortunately do not have caring adults in their lives, and for those individuals if I can be the person that cares about them and enables them to feel wanted and special, then surely I have done my job right. It costs nothing to ask someone how their day has been, or to share your lunch with someone. It takes nothing but time to listen to someone, to potentially change their outlook on themself and their life. 

You may not feel important to the world, but to one person you could be their world - you could be their secure base. 

Hold on to that, it's a real privilege to be that person. 

Challenge Yourself...

"I'm not built for adventure" is one of my most famous sayings among my friends. Used first in Snowdonia, when trying to climb down the Devil's Kitchen:





Used again time after time when my friends have pushed me outside of my comfort zone, whether it is being dangled by a rope at Calshot, made to go hiking across the lotchenpass glacier, or forced to drive a rib on the Solent (next to a bloody big cruise ship!). I am famous for excusing myself from being brilliant at adventure.

It's not that I don't enjoy the outdoors, or the element of risk and challenge - because trust me, I do. The problem is that I can never live up to those around me. I grew up in the shadow of this:



That's my brother.

Yes I do bang on about him a lot, but he actually is pretty cool. Which is coincidentally, why I am not!

My darling brother was a county level athlete at school for high jump and for running. He owned a pair of running spikes - he was pretty serious. He also made a name for himself in the world of kayaking - I remember watching him compete at the Outdoors Show (back in 2006!) and being genuinely terrified he would die. Since then he has competed in world competitions for his sport. He completed a BTEC in Outdoor Sport, worked at Sparsholt College, earned a BA Hons in Watersport Management, and coached some of the best paddlers in Ireland.

I really had no hope.

When we were younger, we used to take part in the scout kayak regatta - the only "sporty" thing that I ever won anything in - the doubles! My brother would go at the back and steer, and tell me to "just paddle as fast as you can" and undoubtedly we would always win that race. It has always been one of my favourite memories of my brother and I, because he treated me like a sporty person, even though I was as nerdy as they come.

Aside from my brother, I happen to spend a lot of time with "Alphas".

"The dominant male"

Most of my friends are alpha men. My brother is an alpha man. They gather together in alpha clusters, talking about things like climbing rope, their big audi engines, and welding things out of pure metal. They are strong, powerful, admirable. The kind of men that you want to be around when things go wrong as you get the feeling that they would protect you.

The downside of this, is of course, that they are naturally much better at anything outdoors than I am. They are better climbers, they are faster paddlers, they are stronger runners (except Dave, with his broken knees...)

(Sidenote: One example of this "Alpha Male-ism", I have just checked the weather for the weekend, it is due to rain - so the Alpha tells me "no such thing as bad weather, only unsuitable clothing" - typical Alpha response...)

So why on earth do I end up comparing myself to them?!

I hated taking part in sport as a child because I knew I would never be as good as my brother, and I hated the thought of losing or being bad at something. So I never tried. I failed to challenge myself in a bid to ensure safety and remaining in my nerdy little comfort zone (surrounded by books).

What I should have been doing, is challenging myself  and comparing myself only by my standards.

Once I took some young people away for some adventurous activities - we took them on the 3G swing. The competition between them was fierce - one belittling another who didn't want to go to the top of the swing, saying "you ONLY went 50%" - what they should have been saying was "amazing, well done - I saw that you were worried about that and you went half way - that's fantastic"

We should encourage people to reach THEIR goals. Not to judge themselves by other people's standards. If we do that then we will never be happy. (I'm almost certainly never going to look like Kylie Minogue, so should give up and just look like the best me that I can!)

I smashed a 10k last week in 57:35, but I wasn't happy with my time because someone else did it in under 50 minutes. How insane is that!? 5 months ago I couldn't run for a bus, so I should be delighted that I can even run 10k without stopping.

If in your life, there are people who are saying "yea, but".... "you ONLY did this...".... my advice is to bin them off.

Do not get sucked in to believing you are not good enough.

Get out of that comfort zone.

Set a goal.

Meet it.

Set another one.

Challenge YOURSELF.

How running saved my life....

Ok let's rewind a bit.... 2013, I was diagnosed with Familial Hypercholesterolaemia - that's high cholesterol to you and me. I went to the doctors because I wasn't feeling well and they wanted to rule out Thyroid (great thyroid issues on Mum's side of the family) so they took a load of blood, and then got me back to say I had a cholesterol of 8. "Great, 8 out of 10 is ok yea?"

Nope. They don't measure it like that. I had the cholesterol "of a 70 year old man" and this one was thanks to my Dad's inherited good looks, charm, wit, and crap heart and blood. Unfortunately, Dad died when he was 38 from heart disease that was undiagnosed, so naturally I was a tad worried about death at this point. I was told to try and reduce it by exercise and healthy eating, so I gave running a punt. I hated PE at school, being as sporty as a brick and with a brother who mastered every sport going - competing in all kinds of competitions (world class now!). My lovely friend Ketch was very supportive and encouraging, and dragged me on the most painful bike ride of my life - not been on a bike since. I quite enjoyed running, but then they gave me some statins to take my cholesterol down, so I gave up with it as I didn't need to bother anymore. 

In 2014 I had another blast at it, and entered the Pretty Muddy race for life - Ketch came to watch in the pissing rain and lightening storm, and insisted I got dunked as I wasn't muddy enough. I was pretty happy that I survived to be honest. Later on that year I did the colour run in southampton with Batesy, but I never really bothered to run in between and wish I had. I then didn't put on my trainers for a year.

I talked about running with great fondness, like a relationship that I wanted back. Jon set one of my Emlyn goals to be to run a 10k - I wanted 5 but he wasn't having it. 

In October 2015 my gorgeous friend passed away, and I was devastated. I knew she was dying as she has an aggressive brain tumour, and I had cried and cried for months prior to her passing. On the day I remember going home and just getting into bed and sobbing my heart out. 

At this point, I was all set to dive into my usual pre Christmas depressive period, being one of those that struggles with SAD (on top of the BAD). But I didn't. I dug out my pink trainers and went for a little jog. 

I couldn't breathe, and had to keep stopping along the way. I think I managed about 3k in 25 mins. I was horrified. I was enormously overweight and hated my body, hated that my top kept riding up and that my flabby belly was bouncing all over the place. Friends suggested I went to parkrun, but I daren't because I didn't want people to see me. 

I started to find solace in running, and my OCD took over. Graphs and charts, personal bests. It started to get exciting, and I could plug in and listen to music, blocking out the world. I ran with some others at times, some people who were great partners and very supportive, others whom I'm ok without running with again. I decided whilst bored at work that I would run to raise money for the hospice that Amanda was in, because she loved to run. 

I picked 3 events, ones that I thought she would have approved of. The run for chocolate, the Santa run, and brutal. Luckily for me I have some epic friends who joined in, and the chocolate run was ably supported by the HSX ladies and Euan, who has been an inspiration to me. The Santa run saw me paint my face green on promise of making £400... So I went as the Grinch and again was pleased to see Euan in his Santa getup complete with sleigh. Mum came to watch and wasn't impressed that I ran so fast she didn't have time to get a coffee... I had told her I would take it slow, having been to the forest and ran a 10k with Tom the day before (we got stuck in the bog at the back of Ferny Crofts - I have never laughed and screamed so much!). I was desperate to try out my new trail shoes that I had bought in Dublin the day before - my super sporty brother and his super sporty girlfriend took me shopping and expertly kitted me out. 

So then was the big one. Brutal. 

Now, one thing you've should know about me is that I am a stubborn old cow, and no one tells me I can't do something. I had a Drama teacher who said I was crap at Drama and wouldn't get more than a C at GCSE - well, an A*, A at a-level, and 2:1 at degree level say different. So when someone tells me I can't do something, I make it my mission and revenge to prove a point. But I was nervous and anxious. Luckily, some brace souls from work joined me, the fab Emma, Jim, and Mary, and spouses! When we pulled in to the car park I thought I was going to be sick. All these super fit (gorgeous) men around, and me looking like a reject from Fame with my bright pink kit. But I strapped on the GoPro and gave it my best shot.... I screamed, I laughed, I bitched about the "waist deep water" (boob deep!!). I had the best time running that has ever been humanly possible. My time wasn't amazing, I stank and my poor charity vest is now stained brown from the mud. But I did it. I achieved something that I never thought possible, and I didn't give up. 

This week, I ran my longest distance to date (12k) with the ginger boy, (I claim I'm his personal trainer as he is training with the OTC); I got a new PB at parkrun; I got a sub 30 5k; oh and I achieved an Emlyn goal with my first ever 10k event. 

I ache.

I'm in pain. 

But my emotional wellbeing has never been better! 

They tell you that exercise releases positive endorphins and all that rubbish, but for me it is about beating myself at my own race, and proving that I'm good enough. I've lost 1st 5lb, I've got fitter and can actually have a conversation when I run now, but most importantly, I have survived my usual SAD dip. It was all on point to end up as it so usually does, with me feeling worthless, stupid, ugly, useless. All the planets had aligned to deal me that card. But I gave them all a two finger salute and did this for me and for Amanda. 

I've still got a way to go, great south run is 16km so I need to start upping my distances... But the journey so far has been bloody fantastic. Euan, Tom, Tilly, Rosemary, Clare, Emma, Emma, Jim, Mary, Steph, Gav....you all rock. You inspire and motivate me, and have kept me sane and as well as possible. I've had some bad days, but who doesn't! I'd lost my confidence, my happiness, and my waist...and now those things are all back thanks to the support of my friends and the motivation to "just keep going". 

Over £500 has been raised in memory of my gorgeous Amanda, and I've had some laughs doing it. Here's to a year of running and driving people up the wall with my irritating posts, sarcastic vlogs, and downright awesome iMovies. 

www.justgiving.com/RunFi  

Present, not presents

So, I'm the first to admit I hate Christmas. Nothing to do with the actual holiday itself, but it's not a good time of year for me - unfortunately my dear Dad passed away during December 1999, and since then the holiday season has always been hard for me. So when someone asks "what would you like for Christmas?", the truth is, I want one more day with my Dad. But I know I can't have that.

As I've got older, I've become much less materialistic - I don't really own much and certainly nothing of monetary value. My top three possessions are my Fitbit, my water bottle, and my ancient phone full of photographs. I don't have a flashy car or the latest iPhone, I don't own a decent camera, and to be honest I'm not interested in any of that.

So at the risk of sounding ungrateful, there's nothing I need for Christmas. One has let me choose and buy my own gift from him - a long sleeve, collared, bright pink running top. Other than that, there nothing on my list to Santa this year. Of course I have already had thoughtful and lovely gifts from students, colleagues, and family - and I'm sure I will be lucky enough to get a stocking on Christmas Day, and I am so thankful for all the wonderful things I have received and will receive. 

But the greatest gift from each of you, is yourselves.

Thinking back on my year, I've had lots of ups and downs, and recently lots of downs. I've been called "ugly and thick" and had my confidence and self-esteem battered. I've been told I can't do something (even though on Monday I will be doing it!), and I've generally felt lost and alone. However, despite one or two people who seem intent on just being horrible and demeaning, there are many more people in my life who make it bloody awesome.

The best gifts I have had this year aren't things you can buy in a store, it's the time and compassion that friends and family have shown me. The gift of friendship and companionship - because it is a gift, no one has to be my friend or has to do anything for me, no one owes me anything, yet each of you have gifted me your company. 

It's things like:

- coming over to make me a cup of tea and tuck me into bed (Emma)

- spending countless days wandering round the zoo, and riding the loser train (Karen)

- running through the forest with me in a moment of madness (Tom)

- finding a slot in a busy diary to have dinner with me (Ketch)

- letting me spend a day with you and your perfect puppies (Ad and Jen)

- not being embarrassed of me singing loudly in the garden centre (Amy)

- letting me spend all your 2p's on the arcades (Benjy)

- eating ice cream together after work (Y crew)

- going running with me and signing up to brutal (School friends)

- chatting to me every morning in my office (Bates)

- letting me come to your classroom for a hug and not asking why (Clarkson)

- making me a cuppa and letting me chat away on your sofa (Karen)

- making me a wooden medal holder from scratch (Dave)

- picking up my medication (Mum)

- texting me to see if I'm ok and to remind me I'm beautiful (Craig)

- skyping with me as often as possible and laughing a lot (Daniel)

- parkrunning with me even though I'm slow (Jim)

- snap chatting me when I'm feeling rubbish (Ollie)

- walking round winter wonderland even though it's actually a bit naff (Jake)

- letting me play duplo and read stories to the gorgeous boy (Naomi)

- laughing at my puppet shows (Elijah Bear)

- sending me a note to congratulate me on my MA (John) 

- chatting to me way past the end of your working day to see if I'm ok (nursey)

Things that you can't put in a stocking, things you can't put a price on. Things that seem so little and insignificant to you, but make me a happier, better, and more well person because of it. These are the gifts I want most of all; the pleasure and joy of your company (so many more of you I could mention!), unfortunately not all of my friends made it to the end of this year, and I would just love one more coffee or one more chat with them, but it's not possible to reclaim that time that is now lost. So please, continue to give me the greatest gift of all, your presence - and in return, I will try to be less Grinch-like.

Merry Christmas x

Have courage and be kind, always.

A quote from one of my favourite films, about one of my favourite female protagonists. Cinderella.

Poor old Cinderella was put through the mill wasn't she, with her Mum dying, and then her Dad. Leaving her as a young woman to live with her stepmother and step sisters. None of which were particularly nice people. 

However, despite this, she comes out on top. 

Whilst she was suffering and grieving, she was always kind to the people in her life. She did the chores without arguing back, she washed the clothes, she swept the chimneys. She took the abuse and tolerated the unkind words from the people she lived with. Not once did she kick off, argue, or run away. 

To many, Cinderella seems such a weakling. She should have just got up and gone, right? 

Probably; it might have helped her to grow and develop and find herself. It would certainly have changed her path and her future. Had she left, she may not have been the person that Prince Charming met, and fell in love with. She may not have become a princess. 

However, in my opinion, Cinderella isn't weak at all. She is strong and courageous. She faces adversity head on and without complaint. How often do we moan about things? Cinderella never moaned. How easy is it to be horrible to someone who is nasty to you? How often do we get in arguments? Did my dear Cinders? 

No. She did not. 

In life, we will come across people who upset us, sometimes accidentally, and sometimes deliberately. People you trust, might turn against you. Those who you love can easily become enemies. People will lie to you in life. People will say nasty things, will laugh at you, and will hurt you. Unfortunately, that is part of human nature and the ability to choose. 

There are, of course, people in the world who are kind. People who do care. People who love and support you. These people come in all shapes and sizes, and might not be who you expect. They might exist (as many of mine seem to do) in different time zones, they might be older or younger, they might be family, they might be colleagues, but they are there. 

You will easily learn to tell the difference between those who do and those who do not, and as a youth worker, perhaps I need to learn to take my own advice on that one. 

The way that you behave towards other people, builds up your personal brand and the way that others view you. If you upset someone, and they tell their friends about it, will you look good? Probably not. If you upset someone, and then apologise, then that shows strength in character. 

Of course it is not as straight forward here about what other people think of you, but more the impression that you leave in people. 

What is your personal legacy?

I'm not talking about who you choose to leave money to in your Will, but how you leave a person feeling. Feelings are very real, and powerful. We all have those interactions that leave us with good feelings, where we smile ear to ear and have butterflies in our tummies. We also have those feelings where someone has made you so upset that you feel sick, your tummy does flips and you can't help but cry. Which ones do you want to leave a person with?

It doesn't take much to smile at a stranger, have a chat with the shop assistant, say thank you to someone, or give a homeless person a hot chocolate. Our little actions can leave big impressions. These little actions can transform a persons day, or change their view of a whole group of people in society. It can restore faith in humanity.

Cinderella would be that person. She has her own "stuff" that she has been dealing with, but she is always kind.

So as you go about your daily lives, try to be more Cinderella than wicked step-mother. If someone is horrid to you, then smile. Turn the other cheek, and offer them a cup of tea.

Be the change you want to see in the world - Ghandi 

The curse of the digital era

Facebook.

Twitter.

Instagram.

Snapchat.

Messenger.

Just some of the things that give me grief on a daily basis. The Internet and digital technology is a wonderful thing, but one has to wonder if it is destroying an element of our human nature. 

Young people regularly come to me with screenshots on their iPhone 6, of conversations or insults over social media or text, or content that offends them. Unfortunately the digital revolution is not something I can protect young people from, the nature of the beast is that it is just too big. All I can do is educate and support young people, making sure that they use the Internet carefully, only post content that is befitting with their personal brand, and showing them how o report and set privacy settings. As a CEOP ambassador, I am particularly passionate about ensuring that young people stay safe online. I've trained young people, parents, teachers, youth worker, social workers, and police in some of the issues facing young people with digital technology today. 

The biggest issue, however, is one that no amount of training can solve.

Many young people find it hard to believe that our home computer was connected to the Internet by a wire, and that we had to dial up to get a connection. They struggle to appreciate that I didn't have a mobile phone as a child, and only had one when I was about 15; even then it was one of these bad boys:

I grew up in an interesting time, a cross over period between the digital era and Jurassic world (as my young people would have me beleive!). My mothers generation didn't have computers like I did, they didn't have access to the Internet, and they certainly didn't have mobile phones. Today we have children as young as 4 with tablet computers, the ability to access the Internet almost anywhere from a device as small as your hand, and 11year olds rocking an iPhone 6. When I was their age (goodness I sound old!), we were still scared of technology - we were waiting for the millennium bug to hit and crash the world, we were wary of mobile phones causing tumours, and my biggest issue as tripping on the cable that connected the computer to the phone line. 

Now don't get me wrong, I think digital technology is a wonderful thing and has its place. But what have we sacrificed for this? 

When I was 4, I loved playing with my big brother. In fact, until we were at secondary school, we used to spend all our time together - building dens, going to the park, playing in the garden. We went on day trips to the arboretum, or to a museum or swimming. We wrote diaries in the summer holidays, we played board games, and took it in turns to play Tetris on the retro yellow game boy. What do children this age get up to now, we'll probably so,e of the same stuff. But I have witnessed whole rooms of families sat in silence, each one on their own digital device. Tablets, iPads, laptops, phones. Children engrossed in playing games on a digital platform, and missing whole days of adventure with their friends. 

When we were kids, if we wanted to see our friends, we had to "call on them". A quirky phrase now,  but back then in the 90s and early 00s, we used to knock the doors of our friends and go around to see if they were in. I remember once trying to use walkie talkies with our friends over the road, but it was short lived as even they weren't great back then. But the premise of having to go and have a conversation in person with someone is something we seem to have lost - when it's so easy to just send a text now. 

What worries me, is the impact that these devices have on child development, and how that unfolds into adult life. Indeed, how has technology killed relationships? 

If good child development includes spending time and creative playing with peers, and increasingly children are interacting from behind a tablet, are they being deprived of social relationships and is it stunting their potential to grow. Are we breeding a nation of computer scientists, and losing our youth workers, our social workers, our "people people". When these jobs are dependant so heavily on positive relationships and being able to connect with people, if these skills aren't being maximised by current young people in a face to face environment, will we move to a totally digital age - online youth work as opposed to one to one sessions? Text counselling rather than face to face therapy? 

How does this pan out for the survival of the human race? 

One of my friends whom I see once a year, for one weekend, always has a pop at me for using my phone on camp. He insists that I "live in the moment" and tries to lock my phone away, or set rules that I can only use it a certain amount of times. I always protest, making excuses that "my love life depends on it" or "I need to get in my emails". When did I become so dependant on this device to rule my world? He is right, of course. We should be living in the real world and not the online world. When you have a beautiful girl in front of you, that is not the time to be scrolling through Facebook. When you're out with your friends, put the phone away and be with them. When you're taking a walk, breathe it all in and take in the sights and sounds - not the sight of your backlit phone and the sound of the ringtone! It is one of my pet hates when you're with someone and their phone is the most important thing in the room. 

What would happen if I didn't use it? Would I have to go back to "calling on someone", on the off chance they would be home? Without the Internet, would I rely on books and newspapers to update me - have I become lazy in my thirst for knowledge? As a child, I loved to read, and it's no secret now that I hate it. But is that my laziness, that rather then read a book I can find whatever I want at the touch of my fingertips? 

My obsessive checking of Facebook and Twitter, wastes ridiculous amounts of my time and achieves nothing except to pry into people's lives and make assumptions based on the information presented to me. I have become lazy in maintaining relationships! I should just call my friends, or go and visit them. Not depend on an app to tell me what is going on in their lives, and then "like" something to show my support. That's not support, that's a cheats way of being a friend. I waste my time getting het up when people post things that worry me, or upset me. When actually, I should just speak to them. But how much of my ability to have a face to face relationship is diminished due to my reliance on technology to do it for me? 

So, I make an urgent plea. 

Let's save the human race, let's build relationships on trust and honesty. Let's hold each other. Let's get our kids to play games, learn to be outdoors, and learn to be with others. Limit their time (and yours as a role model) with digital media and let's ensure they build personal skills. Talking to each other, laughing with each other. 

Put that phone down.