You can't save them all....

If I had a penny for every time someone has told me that I'm too attached to my work, or that I care too much about a young person, well I would be rich in money. But instead, I'm rich in life. 

You will have read my blogs about young people changing my life, about why youthwork matters to me, and the importance of participation of young people. This one is more personal, this is about my feelings. 

I went to view a property today, and the estate agent cast judgement on me in one foul swoop "why would you want to do that?"...."you're brave, they're the most difficult age group", in response to my explanation of wanting two bedrooms and two bathrooms, one for me and one for the fostering, with a garden for the puppy. She also commented on how young I was, and asked me why I would want to do that at my age. 

Well, here it is. 

It's because I believe I can save the world. 

Ok, over the last 5 months, I've cried more than normal. I've hidden away in my room and sobbed my heart out. The reason for this, is because I actually adore some of the young people I work with, and it breaks my heart when things don't go well for them. I'm pretty good at holding it all together most of the time, and will never show emotion in front of another professional (unless that person is a friend, of course). I'm very good at being the adult, using my theory based judgements, and advocating what i believe in. I'm less good at detaching myself from positive relationships that I have worked hard to build, based on authentic respect and trust, rather than coercion. 

I've been told by someone (trying to be helpful) that I need to stop caring and leave work at work. He's right, I do need to leave work at work, but if I stopped caring to allow that to happen, then I would be cheating myself. 

I live by the idea that there is good in everyone, and believe that everyone deserves an opportunity and a chance. It is part of my innate being to care. With this, my values are based on helping others, supporting them to succeed.  

Sometimes, however, they don't. 

Sometimes no matter how hard you try, how much effort you put in, how much time you give, sometimes, that person will make their own poor choices, and there is very little that you can do about it. 

But you've got to try haven't you. It's hard to tell with a fresh bunch of people, which ones will work with you, and which ones won't. It's impossible to spot the child that in a years time, will have really needed your support. We can't predict the future. That's why it is important to believe in all of them. 

If your starting point is a negative one, "I can't save them all", then the task of trying to pick one or two becomes overwhelming. 

Whereas, if you say "I can't save them all, but I'm going to give it my bloody best shot" then the possibilities are endless. 

So no, you can't save them all. But that isn't a reason not to try to.