As a young woman, it's kinda natural to always be dreaming about meeting Prince Charming and what your perfect wedding would be like. It's ingrained into you from the tender toddler years, where you're brought up on Disney princess movies - the helpless princess waits around for the handsome prince to come and sort her life out.
If I had a pound for every time one of my relatives, or friends asked me when I was going to "settle down and get married", I would have moved to Australia by now and married a hot surfer. But seriously, why is there such a huge demand for young women to be married - or even to be driven into being in a relationship? I've had no end of people telling me that "you'll meet the right one when you least expect it" - I haven't been expecting it for years and no one has swept in wearing shiny armour... A couple of muppets in tinfoil maybe... 😉
But why do people feel the need to comfort me on being single - I didn't realise it was such a hardship - being able to go out when you want, see who you want, spend what you want. Actually, I've got a sweet deal. Ok so I might never get valentines cards, a wedding, or flowers sent to my work - but does everyone need that?
It's like the children argument, people are persistent with about "when you meet the right one you will change your mind" - actually, I won't. I know I won't. So, stop trying to tell me otherwise. Don't get me wrong, I'm not heartless and a child hater, quite the contrary - I see myself as an auntie to the world, and I cannot wait to have children around, just not in the conventional way. The children I plan to have in my life are the ones who I know I can make a huge difference to, the ones who need my skills most. That would be a real privilege.
The older I get, the more I see my friends getting married and settling down, and the more I get quizzed about my personal circumstances. Just because the dominant discourse is to follow a certain route, doesn't mean that path is for everyone. In fact, I would much rather take a machete and make my own path than follow blindly the trail before me just because I felt I should.
I've been naively waiting around in my tower for a knight in shining armour to come along and save me, so that I can live out my days with Prince Charming. But life isn't like that.
Life shouldn't be like that.
Young women everywhere need to be empowered to believe that they can make it in this world without following what society is trying to dictate they should do. Young women need role models of strong females who have made it alone. Girls don't need guys to come along and save them, it's not the 1950s and women don't just exist to cook dinner for their man and produce children.
Victoria Pendleton is my favourite athlete, and she never relied on a man to win her races, she won through hard work and determination.
Yes I'm very happy for all my friends who are in healthy relationships and happy with children etc, but for those independent women out there - don't feel pressured to follow the crowd. You are your own person, and you do not need to have a man to qualify who you are.
Mutuality doesn't exist, there is always a broken middle and you don't have to do what everyone else thinks you should. Be more like Antigone, less like Sleeping Beauty.
Everyone else - stop pressurising women to fall into a routine - let them live out their dreams.
Princess, get down from your tower, and be the queen you were meant to be.
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