The curse of the digital era

Facebook.

Twitter.

Instagram.

Snapchat.

Messenger.

Just some of the things that give me grief on a daily basis. The Internet and digital technology is a wonderful thing, but one has to wonder if it is destroying an element of our human nature. 

Young people regularly come to me with screenshots on their iPhone 6, of conversations or insults over social media or text, or content that offends them. Unfortunately the digital revolution is not something I can protect young people from, the nature of the beast is that it is just too big. All I can do is educate and support young people, making sure that they use the Internet carefully, only post content that is befitting with their personal brand, and showing them how o report and set privacy settings. As a CEOP ambassador, I am particularly passionate about ensuring that young people stay safe online. I've trained young people, parents, teachers, youth worker, social workers, and police in some of the issues facing young people with digital technology today. 

The biggest issue, however, is one that no amount of training can solve.

Many young people find it hard to believe that our home computer was connected to the Internet by a wire, and that we had to dial up to get a connection. They struggle to appreciate that I didn't have a mobile phone as a child, and only had one when I was about 15; even then it was one of these bad boys:

I grew up in an interesting time, a cross over period between the digital era and Jurassic world (as my young people would have me beleive!). My mothers generation didn't have computers like I did, they didn't have access to the Internet, and they certainly didn't have mobile phones. Today we have children as young as 4 with tablet computers, the ability to access the Internet almost anywhere from a device as small as your hand, and 11year olds rocking an iPhone 6. When I was their age (goodness I sound old!), we were still scared of technology - we were waiting for the millennium bug to hit and crash the world, we were wary of mobile phones causing tumours, and my biggest issue as tripping on the cable that connected the computer to the phone line. 

Now don't get me wrong, I think digital technology is a wonderful thing and has its place. But what have we sacrificed for this? 

When I was 4, I loved playing with my big brother. In fact, until we were at secondary school, we used to spend all our time together - building dens, going to the park, playing in the garden. We went on day trips to the arboretum, or to a museum or swimming. We wrote diaries in the summer holidays, we played board games, and took it in turns to play Tetris on the retro yellow game boy. What do children this age get up to now, we'll probably so,e of the same stuff. But I have witnessed whole rooms of families sat in silence, each one on their own digital device. Tablets, iPads, laptops, phones. Children engrossed in playing games on a digital platform, and missing whole days of adventure with their friends. 

When we were kids, if we wanted to see our friends, we had to "call on them". A quirky phrase now,  but back then in the 90s and early 00s, we used to knock the doors of our friends and go around to see if they were in. I remember once trying to use walkie talkies with our friends over the road, but it was short lived as even they weren't great back then. But the premise of having to go and have a conversation in person with someone is something we seem to have lost - when it's so easy to just send a text now. 

What worries me, is the impact that these devices have on child development, and how that unfolds into adult life. Indeed, how has technology killed relationships? 

If good child development includes spending time and creative playing with peers, and increasingly children are interacting from behind a tablet, are they being deprived of social relationships and is it stunting their potential to grow. Are we breeding a nation of computer scientists, and losing our youth workers, our social workers, our "people people". When these jobs are dependant so heavily on positive relationships and being able to connect with people, if these skills aren't being maximised by current young people in a face to face environment, will we move to a totally digital age - online youth work as opposed to one to one sessions? Text counselling rather than face to face therapy? 

How does this pan out for the survival of the human race? 

One of my friends whom I see once a year, for one weekend, always has a pop at me for using my phone on camp. He insists that I "live in the moment" and tries to lock my phone away, or set rules that I can only use it a certain amount of times. I always protest, making excuses that "my love life depends on it" or "I need to get in my emails". When did I become so dependant on this device to rule my world? He is right, of course. We should be living in the real world and not the online world. When you have a beautiful girl in front of you, that is not the time to be scrolling through Facebook. When you're out with your friends, put the phone away and be with them. When you're taking a walk, breathe it all in and take in the sights and sounds - not the sight of your backlit phone and the sound of the ringtone! It is one of my pet hates when you're with someone and their phone is the most important thing in the room. 

What would happen if I didn't use it? Would I have to go back to "calling on someone", on the off chance they would be home? Without the Internet, would I rely on books and newspapers to update me - have I become lazy in my thirst for knowledge? As a child, I loved to read, and it's no secret now that I hate it. But is that my laziness, that rather then read a book I can find whatever I want at the touch of my fingertips? 

My obsessive checking of Facebook and Twitter, wastes ridiculous amounts of my time and achieves nothing except to pry into people's lives and make assumptions based on the information presented to me. I have become lazy in maintaining relationships! I should just call my friends, or go and visit them. Not depend on an app to tell me what is going on in their lives, and then "like" something to show my support. That's not support, that's a cheats way of being a friend. I waste my time getting het up when people post things that worry me, or upset me. When actually, I should just speak to them. But how much of my ability to have a face to face relationship is diminished due to my reliance on technology to do it for me? 

So, I make an urgent plea. 

Let's save the human race, let's build relationships on trust and honesty. Let's hold each other. Let's get our kids to play games, learn to be outdoors, and learn to be with others. Limit their time (and yours as a role model) with digital media and let's ensure they build personal skills. Talking to each other, laughing with each other. 

Put that phone down.  

October 10th

So, 10th October (yesterday) was world mental health day. A day that 10 years ago didn't bother me, I had no interest in, and I didn't care much about mental health. 

But now, mental health is incredibly important to me. This is my journey. 

When I was 19, I started my first set of anti depressants. I had never felt so worthless before in my life, and took myself to the doctor. I remember how stupid I felt, sitting in the doctors room, crying, and saying I just didn't feel happy. She prescribed me some medication there and then, and off I went. All was well, until I started to feel very low again. Back to the doctors and another set of anti depressants, and again until I was on my third different medication. 

Still something didn't sit right, and I was cycling between being fine for a period of time, so happy that I would go out all night and drive Jemima car (the mini of death) around country lanes as happy as anything. But then I would become very low, feeling like I hated myself and unable to get out of bed. This was all going on whilst I as at university, and I was referred on to some one else for further investigation as to why I was feeling so up and down. 

Well after much too-ing and fro-ing, I came out of the system a year later with a diagnosis of Bipolar Affective Disorder and Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), and anti-psychotic medication. Anti-psychotic. Does that mean that aged 20 I was labelled a psycho and needed to be drugged to stop it from happening? 

Well no, of course not. But at that time, only 7 years ago, I only told one person other than my Mum, about my mental health. It was pretty bloody scary, being told you have a condition for which you need to take medication forever, but you can't see it, and so you don't know really if it's getting better or not. It's all very complex in mental health. 

But hasn't time changed. I'm now 27 and I'm not ashamed of my mental health. Ok so it's not the first thing I mention on a first date, but it's not something I feel I need to hide from the world. That's a credit to two things, firstly all of the positive media from time to change, which has changed people's perceptions of mental health, and secondly the big brave steps I have made in coming to live with myself and learning to love myself. 

Having a mental health condition doesn't define you as a person, it gives you a reason to fight. Being bipolar doesn't make me any less of a human being, but it does make me stronger and means that I have to become more resilient than other people. It has given me some of the worst times of my life, which I will not delve into here, but has also given me experiences that I use to empathise with young people going through similar issues in my work. 

Mental health conditions affect people in different ways, my bipolar is not the same as anyone else's, and that's half the trouble of trying to treat it. My doctor told me that she has to "treat the symptom" rather than the condition. One treatment doesn't fit all. 

My mental health is affected by triggers, usually if something goes drastically wrong in my life then it becomes a bigger deal than it should be, because where some people might feel a bit sad about something, I tend to feel it 100 times worse. Which leads to situations where I cannot get out of bed, or cannot eat properly, I can spend hours on end crying and to the untrained eye it's "for no reason". Telling me at this point to "cheer up" or "stop being silly" is like telling someone with a broken leg to get up and walk. It just doesn't work like that. 

There's things in my life that worry me about having a mental health condition. I've been advised by my doctor that if I want a baby I have to come off the medication, and that frightens me because I know how unwell I can be. I've also been advised that I'm more susceptible to post natal depression. So whilst I pretend that I don't want children, actually I'm scared of the consequences and the impact that my mental health could have on a child. I'm also acutely aware that my poor mental health has been the break down of more than one relationship in my life, am I destined to never have a serious relationship because of the unsure nature of living with a mental health condition? Who knows, but it does sting to see everyone around you having babies and getting married, and you can't help but wonder if the lack of this in your life is down to your mental health. 

The best thing you can do for someone who is suffering with a mental health condition, is just be there. I'm sure you have all seen the cartoon, but here is one of my favourite little messages:

It might not be easy to talk about feelings with people, I hate discussing mine with anyone, but there is something very comforting about human contact and human support. Humans have a need to be recognised, we are social beings and need others to ensure our survival. On more than one occasion I've had friends build me a nest, and got in it with me. Just to be there and make me feel like someone cares, which is ultimately one of the best treatments. Friends. 

Everyone deals with their mental health differently, for some it's medication and counselling, others might use exercise, or SAD lamps. However people treat it, is ok and personalised to that person. There is no right or wrong. For me, it's a combination of things but the biggest helps have been running and friendship.

So next time you hear about a friend who is feeling low, or you discover someone has a mental health condition, remember to treat them appropriately. Don't tell them to "get over it", or "stop being grumpy". Tell them that you are there for them, and that you care. The world is a much better place when it has love and compassion. 

I volunteer as tribute!

"Be the change you want to see in the world" - words once spoken, famously, by Ghandi. 

This week is National Volunteers Week, and I thought it appropriate to write some words about the impact and value of volunteering. Of course many of my readers will already be converted, but to those who aren't, read on!

I was brought up on volunteering, as part of my DofE and through the scouts, volunteering has always been important. Many of my friends can't understand why I would want to volunteer to work with young people, when in fact that is my career and I spend my full time work (plus 3 part time jobs), working with young people. 

The truth is, I can't get enough of it. 

For me, there is no greater feeling than that of helping others. Maybe I'm just wired that way, I can't do sports and I'm not particularly bright, but I have a big heart and want to save the world. 

This summer, I am taking 36 young people to Japan to the world scout jamboree. Whilst there they will be meeting other young people from all over the world, and taking part in cultural activities which will see them come home as changed people. These guys are awesome. I'm not even lying. After a crap week at work, sometimes the last thing I want to do is to go and pitch tents in the dark and get cold and wet for a weekend. But once I'm there, the young people know how to cheer me up. After making me a cup of coffee, drawing me some pictures of dogs and pretend boyfriends, they soon have me in fits of laughter. Not long after, they have ingeniously found a tennis ball and started a game of catch, using one of their prosthetic legs as a bat/catching cup. 

It's refreshing! 

It takes me out of the office and away from the stresses of life, no worrying about work or freaking out about my mid life crisis (yes it's hit me early!). 

On the flip side, as someone who runs youth clubs, I have first hand experience of the value of the volunteers who support me. 

I am extremely lucky to have a team of committed and dedicated volunteers who come every week to work with the young people in the club. They give up their own time to come and do something amazing, to make young people feel good and have someone to talk to, and to give parents some respite once a week. Those 3 hours a week can make all the difference to stressed parents, and frayed young people. Just to give them a space to grow and develop and try something different, can give them a new direction in life or a boost of confidence. 

Not only that, but they support me. I look forward every week to seeing my lovely volunteers with their smiley faces, and no matter what mood I am in they always seem to lift it. 

Volunteering can take many forms of course, and I know that there are lots and lots of wonderful people with different skills who help me out - administrators, chefs, first aiders... All skills that I do not possess. Others are craft queens, quiz masters, and sports heroes - again, skills that I do not own! 

Just to bust a myth as well, volunteers don't necessarily have lots of money or lots of time (though that would be a luxury), but they do have big hearts.

So whether you are a face to face volunteer youth worker, a scout leader, a guider, with the boys brigade or doing DofE, volunteering at a church or maybe with some older people.. Perhaps you are a trustee, or maybe you are musically minded, whatever it is you do. You do it well. 

You are making someone else smile. 

You are bringing joy to other people's lives. 

You are special. 

Thank you. 

The one you have all been waiting for...

Yesterday I got back from Rome, having a last minute break in one of the most amazing cities in the world. I saw the colosseum, climbed to the top of St Peters basilica, and gazed in awe at the Sistine Chapel. I also drank a lot of wine, ate a lot of amazing food, and cried with laughter more than I can remember. 

But it's not the Ice bar, audio tours, or architectural wonders that made it a good holiday. They were pretty cool, but on my own they would have only been that. I was lucky enough to spend the week with one of the funniest, kindest, and most loving human beings that I know. You know you have a good friend when you can finish each other's sentences, sit in silence at dinner without it being awkward, and laugh hysterically at inappropriate times. I often joke that I only see him when we are away together, and that's ok because that's how our friendship works - him living at the other end of England means we don't spend that much time together, but when we do it's like we have never been apart. Craig is just one of the rocks in my life who makes me feel truly happy, and I am truly blessed to have him. Not only is he incredibly talented and hard working, but he makes me laugh uncontrollably and talks sense into me when I need it. 

Craig is not the only rock in my world, I am very fortunate to have a wide array of friends who mean everything to me. The last year (361 days if I am being precise) has not been my best, in truth it has been one of my worst. Filled with hurt, anguish, and grief. I have not been the bubbly and happy person I like to be, I have cried until my tears ran dry and felt a great deal of pain. 

Luckily for me there have been a number of people who have dragged me kicking and screaming through it, and this blog is an ode to those incredible individuals. 

One such lady is my best friend, who when I cried and couldn't get out of bed, would come and get into my bed with me instead. She is a beautiful and wonderful woman who is right now doing amazing things in Malaysia, and I miss her every day. She brings light to everyone she meets and is one of the warmest people I know. 

Another important person is my surrogate Mum, and one of my dearest friends. She has cooked for me, spent her Christmas and New year with me - building gingerbread houses and wearing onesies. She is always there with a cup of tea when I need it, and good for a gossip. She recently treated me to a trip to Bristol zoo, and a magical mystery tour of Bristol as well. This woman goes out of her way to make the lives of those around her as good as she can, and I am eternally grateful for her friendship. 

Then there's the one across the seas, who lives as far away from me as you could get. Admittedly it is often difficult to speak due to time differences, but thanks to Facebook, Skype, FaceTime, and whatsapp, we manage to talk as much as we can. I met this man three and a half years ago in Brazil, thinking we might be Facebook friends - but we are so much more. He knows the goings of my world and he says things in his funny accent to make me smile. Thank God for the internet that has allowed us to stay in touch and to grow our friendship.

There's my "bride to be" who has kept me busy with planning hen parties and looking forward to her wedding next weekend, where it have the great pleasure of being her maid of honour. She is a kindred spirit and we share beliefs and values which make our friendship very special indeed. 

I can't forget my main carer, who is soon to be a mum. She kicks my butt when it needs kicking, let's me eat ice cream and cooks amazing cupcakes for me. She helps me out whenever she can and I know she will be an incredible Mum. She's also letting me go on holiday with her husband next year (to the jamboree). 

I've also got my crew of lads, all studying at college or uni, but all finding the time to have a good old natter with me and help me at scout events. 

My work buddies - the NQTs and the GMs. Where would I be without them? They make going to school enjoyable, and feed me with cake and lunches... Table pie being my favourite. In return I sometimes do photocopying or displays, and at break times we catch up and have a giggle. They have become so much more than just work colleagues and I would be lost without them. 

The Y clan, what an incredible group of talented and passionate youth workers, like nothing you would find anywhere else. They inspire me and support me, they share long coffees with me and support my studying. Also, the YMCA dream team who make college that little bit easier just by being there and sharing in the dramas. 

The list could go on for hours, but I will stop there.

Life is not about being caught up in events that happen, but rather it should focus on the movement between these events which is supported by the rocks around you. 

I learnt this week that the pantheon is an incredible structure that is built on a roman style shock absorber, which is why it still stands after earthquakes and disasters. The only reason I still stand is because I have my shock absorbers all around me, in the form of a text or tweet, to a chat over dinner, or even a holiday. All the people around me have kept me upright and going strong. 

All I ask is that those of you reading this, take the time to thank those around you and show them that they mean the world to you. Hold on to the people who make your life great and not the moments that make it hurt. 

F.x

"Be the light"

Well, I have not blogged for a while - and one of my dear friends was asking when I next would write something... in order for me to blog I need to have something good to write about, so I figured that I would take stock of where things are as it is a New Year and a fresh start. 

Many of my close friends and family will know that 2013 was not a good year for me, for a whole number of reasons which ultimately meant I spent most of the year suffering from depression - the dark side of Bipolar Disorder. Thankfully, I have a very supportive network of friends and family who need to be thanked for dragging me kicking and screaming through the last few months. They know who they are, and without them I would probably still be sat drunk outside the bowling alley crying into my black patent stilettos because I could not work out how to walk down the steps... Well at least now I can look back and laugh at myself! 

2013 was not all bad, I did have some life changing experiences and some massive highlights - including going to the World Scout Moot in Canada and spending three weeks living with some truly lovely people. I also took my Special Needs group on a residential for the first time, and it was tough and challenging but it was truly incredible and has changed my whole relationship with the group and I now value and respect them even more. I have been truly blessed to have been able to work with some incredible young people last year, and have had some really good success stories of supporting young people into education and training and as a result I had the pleasure of getting my hair cut by a young man I used to support - he even remembered how I take my coffee and brought me chocolates.  On the subject of young people, one of my highlights of 2013 was being successful in applying for a postgraduate course at the YMCA. People who know me well will appreciate how difficult it has been for me to access postgraduate studies and that all of my career choices in the last few years have been crushed at some stage, so this is a massive deal for me and something I have really wanted to do. At the risk of sounding just a little too religious (for some of my friends at least), I really feel that I have been called to Youth Work and the course I am studying is one of the most amazing things in my life at the moment, someone once told me that if they cut me open I would bleed yellow and have "youth worker" written in my veins. 

At the moment I am reading a book by Kerry Young, called "The Art of Youth Work". I have to say that I love this book, and everything I read resonates within me. I have particularly fallen in love with the Ethics of Youth Work, and the argument that Youth Work is an exercise in moral philosophy. Reading about ethics in Youth Work, there is a strong school of thought that suggests in order to be an effective practitioner, the youth worker should have strong morals and act in such a manner that projects these. If the youth worker does not have their own set of values and beliefs which they hold in high esteem, then it could be said that they are unable to support young people to have values and morals. The idea of the professional passing on their beliefs to the young person is not what I am getting at, as that is morally unethical in my opinion. The role of the youth worker is to consider their own beliefs and support young people to explore and develop their own philosophical agenda. In order to support young people to develop this element of themselves, the youth worker must act as a role model and be able to show right from wrong and good from evil, and support young people to explore this for themselves. 

I recently attended the annual Christingle service at St John's in Fareham, where I have been going to church for a number of years. I love the Christingle, not least because they give you a flame to play with (once a scout, always a scout), but because it is a good way to remind ourselves what it is all about. In the service, one phrase I caught hold of was "Be the light", and I figured that there are two ways of producing light, either through being the light or through being a reflection of the light. 

This drew me back to my "Ethics in Youth Work", and the thought that in order to be a positive role model to young people, as a practitioner I have to be acting in a moral and true way. I have to be the light for young people, and light the path for them to take - then pass them the light and let them lead. 

Life is not only about being the light for young people, as in life there are always those who are suffering or in pain, and need a light to illuminate their pathway and show them the way. So my resolution this year, is to be the light for all of those who need it. In the true style of being a scout, I am going to make a concerted effort to do a good deed every day and to be selfless in doing so. If it is smiling at a stranger, or buying a sausage roll and cup of tea for the homeless man in Gosport, I urge you to consider those around you who have darkness in their lives and that you share your light with them. 

Without people being the light for me in the last year, I have no idea what state I would be in now. I have friends who do not know the amount they have done for me, and friends who I know will always be there for me, and that I am eternally grateful for - no amount of flowers or words can express how grateful I am and how much I love these people (you know who you are!)

So for 2014, I have three words: Shine, Love, Reflect. 

Be the light this year and change someone's life. 

Hampshire Scouting county conference - October 2013

Good morning everyone, and welcome to today's conference. I hope you are all feeling inspired and looking forward to the days events, where we will be thinking about how to drive forward Hampshire Scouting. 

I have been asked to kick things off for you, and get you thinking about the young persons experience. Now for those of you who don't know me, I am Fi - the Assistant County Commissioner for Youth Participation, and in my professional life I am a youth worker, and once upon a time I was a young person - which I guess qualifies me to talk about the young persons  experience. I hope you will indulge me now as I use my time to tell you some stories. 

As a youth worker, I have been humbled over the years to work with some of the most vulnerable young people in society. There was one young man, who we will call Brandon, who really stuck out for me. Brandon is an 11 year old boy, who comes from a home where his family survive on benefits, and his Mum regularly tells him she does not love him and has no time for him. 

Brandon was struggling in school and being bullied, not making friends, and not learning. I worked with Brandon in a group work setting, delivering activities to help him develop social skills and communication skills. This was still not enough, and I decided to do some intensive one to one work with him. We worked together to build planes, and kites, and learn spellings and bake cookies. One piece of work we did was called "my universe", and I asked Brandon to put into his universe all the things that were most important to him, one of the things he put down was "scouts". 

I asked Brandon about this, and he told me he wanted to join the scouts, having been a cub, but his mum could not afford for him to go and he couldn't get there either as he ad to pick his brothers up from school and no one could take him there. 

Let me tell you a story now about a little girl, who was desperate to join the cubs, but her Mum made her go to Brownies first. When that little girl turned 10, she joined the scouts, the same scouts that her brother went to. She experienced her first week away from family, her first camp without a real toilet, and her first go in a kayak, all when she was 10.

 When she was 11, her Dad died, and she had a really difficult time at school, being bullied. Her self confidence dropped and she felt worthless. When she was 12 she experienced her first taste of youth involvement, at a patrol in council. When she was 13, she experienced her first leadership role, as a patrol leader. 

When she was 14 she started working with a local cub pack as a young leader. When she was 15 she led the fundraising for her explorer unit to go to Guernsey. When she was 16 she cycled to an explorer camp and learnt to cook for herself. When she was 17 she completed her Gold DofE and her Queens Scout Award. 

When she was 18 she took out an appointment as an assistant Cub Scout leader. When she was 19 she did a work placement in a pupil referral unit. When she was 20 she started youthwork. When she was 21 she did something she never imagined she could do and climbed a glacier. When she was 22 she represented her country at a world conference and set up a platform for young people to have their voices heard. 

When she was 23 she became a trustee of a youth charity and volunteered as a camp counsellor at an international event. When she was 24 she ran a commonwealth youth forum. 

When she was 25, she stood here and told you how Scouting has changed her life. She told you that as an 11 year old girl, whose life was not easy, she went to scouts every Tuesday. Every Tuesday she had an escape from school, from bullying, from homework. Every Tuesday she had consistent adults who were able to build positive relationships with her, built on trust and respect. Every Tuesday she was challenged to try something new, and she was allowed to make mistakes along the way, like cooking too much rice (her mum still won't let her forget that one).

 Every Tuesday there was an adult with a smiling face waiting to help her learn new things and grow as a person.

Through the last 14 years of her life, she has had consistent positive role models in her life, and only through the dedication and support from these adults was she able to access life changing opportunities which undoubtedly shaped her future and chosen career. Over the past 14 years she has grown in confidence from a shy and very sad little girl, to a rather annoying and vocal young woman. She has been pushed far out of her comfort zone through outdoor adventurous activities, which has built her self esteem and sense of achievement and enabled her to be able to lead her own activities for young people.

The beauty of working with young people is that you never know what they will become, and the more positive intervention that we can get to a young person then the more likely they are to be successful in life. I am a firm believer that the time you invest you will get back, and am a good example of how the time that my scout leader invested in me has been got back - as I am now a leader myself and supporting young people to grow and develop. At the moot, someone told me that "you are tomorrow, but tomorrow has come and you are now today"

You have no idea what will become of the cubs or scouts in front of you, and by your own actions you are able to shape the lives of others, which is why it is so important that we get the young persons experience right and enable young people who join us to stay with us. 

For me, it was about having positive adult role models and leaders, who were the family that I desperately needed, which is why I stayed. 

Young people like Brandon. It's not too late for us to make a positive impact and turn this 11yr old around. We might need to be challenged to think differently about how we do it, to ensure every young person can access scouting, but I think that we are more than ready to make that journey. 

BP wanted us to leave the world a little better than we found it, and what better way to do that than to empower a generation and change the lives of those who need it most. 

Scouts Own - Gilwell Reunion 2013

Helping other people

Good afternoon everyone, I have been privileged to speak to you today about "helping other people". It took me a while to think of what I could possibly share with this audience, as helping others is an inbuilt part of every scout, and as a movement we have been helping other people for 106 years. so I decided to use some inspiration from some young people, and asked the, what they thought it meant to help other people. Some of the ideas included:

Forming friendships

Never leaving anyone behind

Looking after people

Supporting during hardships

Learning life skills 

Teaching them things

Setting an example 

Doesn't matter who it is for you can help anyone

It can be anything

Rich or poor, everyone needs a helping hand

Being a scout

 From this,  we prioritised and came up with three things which we felt were key lessons in helping others, which I will share with you now using examples from my own personal experiences.

Part of my life is spent as a youth worker, and where I live, in a small place called Gosport, I work for a small youth work charity. As part of my job, I am responsible for the youth club for young people with additional needs. I have a team of volunteers, which includes some young people - Max, Sophie, and Becky. 

Two years ago, we were told our youth club would have to close and that our youth centre was going to be knocked down. Now, as I am sure you can imagine, this is far from ideal and it caused some upset with myself and others in the community. Max, Sophie, and Becky took the lead and spent time working with myself, and other local decision makers, including councillors and the residents association, to work a way forward. By working as a team, the youth centre was saved, and invested into. 

Becky coordinated the repainting of the building, Max took control of purchasing new equipment with a grant he had secured, and Sophie led a consultation process with local young people to commission a new group from the building. After several months of hard work, we held a grand opening of the youth centre and invited the local community to come in as well as all young people. It was a great success and thanks to these three young people we still have a youth club to stand in.

 The beauty of this is that they didn't even know that they were helping other people, they just wanted to do some good in their community, and as a result of this innate desire to do good, they helped secure provision for a group of young people and their work is a legacy to every young person who walks through the doors of that building for years to come. Three young people had a feeling in their heart and they followed it. 

Lesson one is that: The desire to help other people is within our human nature, and you may not even know you are doing it. 

This summer, I was fortunate enough to attend the world scout moot in Canada. I spent 10 days living with an international patrol, an experience which I will never forget. The moot provided a space for 2500 young adults to come together, live together, and learn together. One of the main challenges of an international event like a moot, is the language and communication barrier that is encountered. This is also combined with cultural differences and sometimes a lack of understanding of each other.

 However, there seems to be a kind of language and understanding that comes with wearing a scarf, and scouts all  seem to get involved and take part, using differences as an opportunity to learn and challenges as opportunities to grow.  Everyone at the moot knew how to put up a tent, and so when one needed to be put up it would be all hands in together - irrespective of nationality or language. 

This was my first experience of a moot, and being a participant I was supported by a team of volunteers who enabled the moot to happen - the international service team. Like us, they too had to work out a way to work together and come to understand each other. However, despite these barriers, the IST were able to provide an excellent experience for us as participants.

 Whenever you needed help. They were there.

 There was a web of people all skilled in their respective areas and all working together to help make the moot what it was. We had a unit leader, Guillherme, from Brazil. Guillherme would visit us each day and make sure we knew where to go and at what time. We had IST working in cafes who were helping us to learn about diversity and humanity. We had IST who were serving us breakfast, and handing out ice lollies. All of our needs were catered for by a team of people who had never met each other before.

 The IST received the biggest applause at the closing ceremony, because of their gracious and conscious decisions to give up work for ten days and come to help at the world scout moot, and therefore empower the next generation of leaders to come together and grow as responsible young citizens. By helping at this event, they have input their time into shaping a generation of people who are ambassadors of a peaceful world, because of the experiences they have shared. 

Lesson two is that: helping others is an international language, and it's easy to communicate through action.

Now, the third lesson about helping others is based on the principle of random acts of kindness. Have you ever given up your seat for someone on a bus, or held a lift door for someone? Have you given someone 20p for the ticket machine, or helped a neighbour carry their shopping? Have you smiled at a stranger, or given someone a hug? These are the small things in life which can happen every day, and these are the things which anyone can do.

 The beauty of this is that it doesn't cost you anything to give, and it leaves a warm fuzzy feeling for those who give a random act of kindness, as well as for those who receive it. On friday i was at a camp in Hampshire, and a scout offered to carry my tent for me. he had nothing to gain, and nothing to lose.

 You have nothing to lose by smiling at a stranger, and if they pass on the smile then eventually we could make the world smile too. 

 

Lesson three is: when you help someone else it doesn't have to be big. 

So today we have been on a journey to reflect about helping other people, and with our three key lessons - helping is human nature, helping is international, and helping can be anything. 

As you leave here today and go into your daily lives and routines over the next few weeks, I would like you to look for an opportunity to help someone, and make it a selfless act of kindness. If someone asks you if they could borrow money for a cup of tea and they say to you "I'll pay you back", my challenge for you is to tell that person to "pay it forward" instead, and for them to buy a cup of tea for someone else who needs it.

 If we all take some responsibility  for helping, then we can make the world a better place, and indeed leave the world a little better than we found it.